Comment Wall

Hi everyone, this will be my comment wall for my Storybook project! Here's a link to the website: Storybook.

(Caption: Balloon comment bubble by Pixabay)


  1. Marissa,

    I love that you are doing your storybook over a specific type of Mythology. I think you will be able to provide some fascinating information over Hawaiian culture for your readers. I can tell you are clearly passionate about this topic, and I think that will show in your writing.

    Your storybook is set up well, and I love the photo you chose for the header. It adds a nice look to the page and ties in to your theme as well.

    I would like a little bit more specifics on the stories you are going to tell. I understand the different areas (song, dance, art), but will you be discussing the origin of these different aspects or how they play in to Hawaiian life and culture in the modern world?

    I personally do not know much about Hawaiian culture, so I am excited to see how you develop this project and will definitely be coming back to learn more.

  2. Hi Marissa!

    First off, I thought your site was very easy to navigate and I love your header photos. I think it would be really pretty too if you even changed the flower so every header was a different Hawaiian flower! I thought that your introduction was very interesting and informational, I had no idea about anything related to Hawaiian rituals (besides that hula dancing is a huge thing there). It’s also crazy to think about how so much of their lives were impacted by where Hawaii is located geographically, like how they had no metals so most of their musical instruments were made from plants and shells. Your intro has me super intrigued and I’m curious what all of your stories will be about! Once you know what you’re stories will be about, have you considered maybe giving more detail about your future stories in your intro? Kind of like a "cliff-hanger" to make people come back? Or did you want to just keep it very historical/factual/background information oriented?

  3. Hi Marissa,

    What a fun idea! Are you planning to focus more on traditional Hawaiian culture, modern fusion culture, or both?

    I loved that you included a scrollable, interactive map to let your readers explore the geography of the islands. If each of your stories is set on a particular island, it might be cool to have such an interactive map of that island on each page.

    You mentioned that volcanoes are important in Hawaiian mythology; I’m curious to see how that plays out in your stories.

    One or two technical things:

    - “… the hula, through the beautiful music and graceful movements … ” → “…the hula, through *its* beautiful music and graceful movements…” (in ¶3)
    - “The movements are meant to represent many things from living things, like animals and plants, to actions like war.” → “The movements are meant to represent many things, from living beings like animals and plants to actions like war.” (in ¶3, to avoid duplication of “things” and correct commas)


  4. Hi Marissa!
    I think your storybook is a brilliant idea! We rarely hear about Hawaiian mythology, and I can’t wait to read more from you! I loved how you included Hawaiian music and a Hawaiian map on your page. This was helpful in seeing all the islands of Hawaii. The videos were amazing as well! It was nice to learn about a difficult culture. I was unsure about what specific stories you would be telling. Your introduction was very informative and educational, but I was wondering if you would be telling stories over the culture, dance, and music of Hawaii. Or would be telling stories of mythological beings? Once you decide on your stories, I am excited to see how your stories develop! I also like the layout of the website! If you wanted, you could change the banner image into something that represents the Hawaiian culture. Since you included a map at the end, if the two maps next to each other, it would make it easier to see. These are just suggestions and I hope I helped!

  5. Hey Marissa!
    First off, I wanna say that the layout of your storybook/portfolio looks incredible! It looks really well put together and professional! I enjoy all the different images and videos I can access on your web page. I think you do a great job of giving significant background information to your stories. I too am really interested in Hawaiian mythology. I have a story I wrote inspired by Pele over on my blog page if you would like to check it out! Here is a link to get you there faster. ( Overall, I think you did a fantastic job in explaining all the information a person needs to understand Hawaiian mythology. I am really looking forward to reading future stories of yours! I included a link on my recreated story to the origin video of Pele. You could watch it to get some ideas for stories of your own!

  6. Hi Marissa!

    I love how your site incorporates educational material about Hawaii and its culture. You did a great job of summarizing its complex history, and I appreciate that you touched on so many different aspects of it (weather, music, geography, etc.). The media on each page really helps to immerse the reader and greatly improves the experience!

    The Shark Man story was really fun to read! The sequence of events flowed really well and I was really eager to know what would happen next. The details you included really helped to enhance the writing. I think my favorite part was the part about the girls laughing and swimming in the ocean. I had such a great sense and understanding of community and friendship there. It was a great introduction and reflection of the villagers, who were just as welcoming and friendly. It's great that you added in the details of the village crowding the Shark god and honoring him because it gives a wonderful visual of the vibrant life there.

    While I was sad the ending didn't end up with the Shark god returning, I think the ending was perfect for this kind of story. It's very open-ended and gives the reader room to imagine what might happen next. Great job, and I can't wait to read more!

  7. Hello Marissa!

    I really like how you chose Hawaiian mythology for your project! It gives us a great opportunity to learn more about the myths of different cultures that were not included in the course work for this class. Similar to you, I chose to write my project over Aztec mythology. So if you ever get curious you should check it out.

    In your project introduction you mentioned the state of Hawaii being composed of eight islands, however I only counted seven? I'm assuming the one that's missing is Waipio, since that is the island that your first story takes place in. I'm also a bit curious to know why you refer to the shark god and shark man as shark god and shark man? I assume they have Hawaiian names?

    I really enjoyed your story! I'm curious to see if you continue this story or retell other ones. Either way I'll be excited to check them out! Great job!

  8. Great job so far, Marissa! I think you chose a super interesting topic to base your project on since Hawaii has such a deep, rich culture and history associated with it. I appreciate your introduction page and how it gives a quick background on Hawaii's geography, history, and culture. This really helps give readers context for the stories, which makes the stories easier and more enjoyable to read! I thought your first story, SharkMan, was written with great detail and explained what was happening very well, which helped me to picture exactly what was going on while reading the story. One suggestion for the ending of your story would be to go into a bit more detail on why the Shark god has to return to the ocean and leave his wife and child, because I was a bit confused reading that part. Overall, your project is great so far and I enjoyed reading a bit about Hawaii's history and folklore!

  9. Hi Marissa! I just read your introduction and your first story so I will be commenting on both!

    For you introduction, I liked how you used links and videos to supplement your descriptions. It can be hard to describe and visualize dance or music, so it was helpful being able to watch something.

    For the Shark man story, I appreciated that you gave Hokulani a name and more of a personality. Often, in traditional stories the women remain nameless or are just the "wife" or "mother." I always give them names too; I think it gives them more power and autonomy. I wonder what the shark god looks like in his true form and as a human. Are there any similarities in appearance? Also why did he have to leave her when she gave birth? Another thing I wanted to know is what Hokulani felt when the shark god proposed. It would be interesting to see into her mind a little bit.

  10. Hi Marissa! I really love that you're telling Hawaiian mythology. I've never read any Hawaiian myths and I'm not very familiar with the culture, so I'm learning a lot. I really, really appreciate all the resources you included in the introduction, which helped me understand your Shark Man story better! I also love the concept of taking a story that already exists and enriching it with more details. Adding Hakuloni's name and giving her a personality definitely contributed to the story. One thing I was wondering was the acceptance of the shark god and his son. Once Hakulani found out he was the shark god, how did she feel? Was their son accepted by the community, or would he be an outcase? I was also curious why the shark god had to leave, because I couldn't tell if his reasoning was the truth, or if he was just escaping the situation. Either way, I'd love some detail about either the war he was preventing, or why he felt the need to leave his wife and son. Overall, I think the story was wonderful and I'm looking forward to reading your future stories and learning more about Hawaiian mythology and culture!

  11. I really enjoyed your story about the shark god. I got a little nervous when he was swimming around near the girls, because I thought that he was going to eat them or something. I was pleased when it turned out to be a simple love story. I loved that you added videos into your introduction, especially the one with the Hawaiian music. I was excited to listen to it as I went through your story but was disappointed when the music did not carry over when I clicked on the story. I think that you should add that video in all of your stories, so there is the option to listen to the music along with each story. I was left wondering many things at the end of the story. What was the shark god making at the bottom of the water? I am also curious if he is going to come back and if there is even a war going on, between who, and how he could even know about it.

  12. Hi Marissa,

    I really liked reading your story about the origin of Shark Man. I think you did a great job with giving readers a good amount of detail such as Hokulani's brown hair sparkling in the sun and Shark Man going into a trance. I was a little surprised with how quickly the village accepted this mysterious guy they never met before marrying one of their own. Wouldn't they try to interrogate him first to see if he's a good guy? I think it's also a little presumptuous that the village would throw a luau for him before he reveals who he wants to marry and whether or not she wants to marry him. It's also surprising that Hokulani didn't know her husband was a shark god until after the birth of their child. How was he able to hide that from her? And when the shark god said he was needed back home immediately, how did he know that and what was the reason? Looking forward to reading more of your stories!

  13. Hi Marissa,

    I really enjoyed visiting your page. The layout is simple, organized and aesthetically pleasing. I initially clicked on the link to your page because I loved the idea of a whole project dedicated to Hawaiian Mythology, and was pleased when I got to the page and found those stunning pictures of the beach and the sunrise. I have never been to Hawaii, but I have always wanted to go, and those pictures make me want to go even more! I think it was a great choice to have those be front and center on your home page. Just out of curiosity, have you ever been to Hawaii? Or have you also always wanted to go and that is what inspired you to do your project over their mythology? Anyways, back to the layout and design of your webpage. It is very simple and easy to navigate, which I really liked. I have personally had some issues with links and figuring out how to best organize my webpage, so I can appreciate a webpage where I can get around easily. After visiting the introduction page, where I found several videos and a map of Hawaii, I am blown away! I think those are great additions to your project and I found the videos to be very entertaining! Overall, you've done a great job on the design aspect so far! Keep it up!

  14. Hi Marissa,
    It's awesome that you are doing a Hawaiian themed story book! I read your recent story about the shark god and that was totally new to me. The Author's notes helped out a little too. One thing that I think might be kind of helpful is just making the font a little bit bigger! It was really small and light so maybe some contrast in the colors would help the words stand out a little bit more! I also think it would be a good idea to add some more pictures as well! I did not see a lot of pictures and that could really help illustrate the story! Anyways, great story and I look forward to reading more!

  15. Hi Marissa!

    I really think your storybook project is looking great. I especially enjoyed the two images on the home page! Both are beautiful and make me want to re-visit Hawaii. These pictures definitely help draw readers in to your project before even reading the stories. Your introduction was also really helpful and enjoyable to read. Including a map was such a great idea! I mainly focused on images when looking through your project, and I appreciated the image of the luau that you included in "The Origin: SharkMan" page. Setting it in the middle of the page was a great idea. If you wanted to, you include another image on this page! I thought "The Story: SharkMan" was great, but I would have loved an image to be featured on this page. I do think your banner image with the seashells was cool. Overall, nicely done on the stories, the format, and the visuals!

  16. Hi Marissa!
    I really enjoyed your storybook! I felt that the theme and outline really reflected what Hawaii was! I was most interested to read your stories because I have always been curious about Hawaiian stories. I feel that those stories are not shared enough, and it is nice to find someone who wants to share them with us. The pictures that you have added really bring each story to life. I love the Shark God story, because I have heard of this one. I liked your take on it because it was more interesting and had more substance than the stories that I had heard before. I thought you were very descriptive when giving us background details about the stories and settings. It was easy for me to visualize in my head. The only thing I would ask is that you include maybe a couple more pictures. Other than that, I think you hit a home run with this storybook! Keep up the great work.

  17. Hey Marissa!

    I just read your story about the origin of the shark god, and I really liked it. I have never read anything related to Hawaiin mythology and I'm not even sure that Hawaii had mythology, so this is really cool. The image you chose to include in your story was really helpful, and really added to your story. I'm wondering, are there any pictures that you could include of the shark god, or is this someone you made up? I think it would really help your readers if they had some way of visualizing the shark god. Furthermore, does the shark god have a name, or are you keeping him nameless on purpose? I think adding a name, and maybe a little bit about him would help your audience connect to him much more. This is a great story and I look forward to reading more!

  18. Hi Marissa!
    I think that you chose a really interesting topic for your storybook project. It is one of the most original ones that I have read so far! Your introduction does a nice job of giving plenty of information about the stories that are going to follow. I particularly liked that you included music on the introduction page. The map also helps me to better picture where your stories are taking place. I liked your first story The Origin: SharkMan and how you added details that you wished had been present in the original telling. Did you consider adding more dialogue to this story? I think that it would have made it a little easier to understand the personalities of the different characters. I also like how your second story was a continuation of the first one. This makes me more interested to know more about what is going to happen next. Good job so far!

  19. Hello again, Marissa! I’m glad I finally got a chance to read your storybook project! I’m excited to read your stories inspired by Hawaiin mythology and folklore.

    I didn’t know what to expect when I read “The Origin,” but I enjoyed it very much! The legend of the Shark god is almost like a spinoff of “The Little Mermaid,” hopefully with a happier ending. Hokulani and the Shark god seem like admirable characters, and the audience is inclined to root for their happiness and well-being. I’m interested in learning more about the Shark god’s world—it might be an interesting concept to explore later on in your project.

    As always, I enjoy your writing style and can’t wait to read your final story! The composition of your website suits the purpose of the storybook project, and I love the use of landscape imagery. Overall, have fun writing and keep up the good work!

  20. Hi Marissa!
    We rarely hear about hawaiin folklore so I am thrilled to see you take on this challenge. Disney Movies like Moana and Lilo and Stich did not fully equip me to fully understand such a unique and rich culture. I like how you went the extra mile and decided to include a map and videos. You have so much potential with this storybook that I am unsure where exactly you will go with it. The introduction could be a little clearer too. Will you be taking us through factual culture or just walking us through hawaiin folklore. Your first story was off to a great start. I was drawn in the entire time and liked how well you are able to illustrate the concepts. I look forward to seeing what you have in store with this storybook. The uniqueness of your storybook is what makes me enjoy it so much.
    Good luck!

  21. Hi Marissa! I was really interested to read your project because my family just recently moved to Hawaii. Hawaii has such a diverse and unique culture, and I think you did a great job providing background information in your Introduction. It really looks like you did your research, and I appreciate the videos, songs, and map that you provided. How cool! Your first few stories are great and I am really impressed with how you broke the Shark-Man story up into two parts. I think you did a good job at first introducing the origin of Shark-Man before diving deeper into the story. I really also like how you went the extra mile and added songs for us to listen to while reading your second story. I think they set the scene and made your story that much better. I can't wait to see what you do next. Great job!

  22. Hi Marissa!
    I loved reading your Hawaiian storybook. I really loved the details you added to your stories that you pointed out in your author's notes. You did a really good job of developing your characters and making your stories intriguing. I also enjoyed learning a lot about Hawaii from your introduction. I kind of wished you had talked more about what to expect from your stories in your introduction and explained how parts of the culture related to the stories in your storybook though. I don't know what else you are planning on adding to your storybook but I think it would be cool if went into more detail about where the Shark-Man story comes from within Hawaii and about the gods in Hawaii as it relates to your story either in your introduction or somewhere in your author's notes. Overall, I think your storybook looks really great! Keep up the good work!

  23. I love this storybook! I have never heard of Hawaiian mythology until now. I wonder if you have any personal connection to Hawaii? I always think it is kind of funny that there is a god for essentially everything. This shark god must have been very charming to immediately fall in stride with this new village. I would love to read more description about the shark god. What did he look like? Did he have the essence of a shark? What made him so charming? Also when you talk about Hakulani's son and the shark's mouth on his back, could you explain that further? Is it a birth mark in the shape of shark's mouth? Hakulani immediately knows from her son's back that she was with the shark god. It would be cool to add that the village people know of a shark god and give a little background info on him. Just some additional thoughts! I loved this story. It is so unique.

  24. Hi Marissa!
    I love the details you've added to these wonderful myths. You really brought them to life by taking extra consideration with the characters, setting in your retelling.
    That said, I do see some opportunities for improvement. For your introduction, instead of saying "Now I will be going into this", you could make use of headers, like Geography, Environment, and Culture in order to separate your ideas but keep your content concise. I see a tendency to either restate your ideas or introduce the next thing you're going to say in a way that creates redundancy. No judgment; I struggle with the same thing!
    Also, when I clicked on the link at the bottom of the origin story, it didn't work, so you might check that out.
    Good job with your storybook!
    - Cate Howell

  25. Hello!

    I really enjoyed reading your stories again! I thought the second story was very easy to read and well written. I really enjoyed learning about the Shark Man from your Hawaiian stories! I thought the photos you included of the Hawaiian landscape were really pretty and set the mood for the story. I’m a little sad your story ended here I would have loved to learn more about the Shark God or the Shark Man or even other Hawaiian myths. Specifically I would have really enjoyed to read a story about the underwater war that the Shark God prevented. I like the changes you made to the story, especially the one where the mom could stay with the family. I also though that they story of the seashells was a cute addition at the end. Great job!

  26. Hey there Marissa! I just had a chance to take a look at your project and I really liked it! I was interested in the Hawaiian theme that you chose. I was able to do some research on Hawaiian and Polynesian cultures for an anthropology class my sophomore year, and so I find those cultures to be extremely interesting. I really loved how you were able to give your characters such depth with descriptions. Your retelling of the stories flowed really well and I was able to understand everything clearly. Some of the links that you put in did not work for me when I clicked on them for some reason, so you may want to check those out if you get a chance to, but overall you have done such a great job. Your pictures and how you are able to scroll through them is really cool and also adds a nice touch to your storybook too.

  27. Hi Marissa! I think this is the second time I've visited your storybook page! It is fantastic to see the additions you made. I like the pictures you have chosen. They are good quality and help the reader visualize the scene of the story. The picture of the ocean and the beach with the shells is my favorite! The sunset is so beautiful. I also liked the idea of the playlist as background noise for the story. The link to the first option didn't work for me. It said that the video was private. You might want to check on that! I felt sorry for Nanaue and his inability to play with the other children. It would be hard to keep something like that hidden. I see that the second story is you last one! Congrats! I hope have a good last two weeks of the semester. Happy Thanksgiving break!

  28. Hello Marissa!

    This is the first time I have had the opportunity to read into your storybook and I would like to say that I am upset that I didn't find it sooner. This storybook is very visually appealing and I can tell that you've dedicated a great amount of time to making this storybook look fantastic. Another aspect of this storybook that I really enjoyed is how you linked youtube videos in your introduction page. This tells me that you were more concerned with helping your readers understand the topic you were covering rather than just writing something to receive your points. This truly was a very well put together storybook and I really enjoyed reading through it. Your storytelling ability matches your attention to detail and they are both top notch.

  29. Hi Marissa! This is my first time to read a story from the other class and I am very impressed by your work! I really loved your story book and the overall theme of it. The first thing I noticed was your overall layout. The pictures all looked great and fit the theme really well. Each of the pictures were really clear and made me able to visualize the scene. Your storybook was very easy to navigate. The overall look looked very neat and professional. I first read your introduction post and was very impressed by how you were able to clearly layout what your project was going to be about. I also love the idea behind a shark man. I thought it was very creative how you told his origin then a story of him. Each of your stories had just the right amount of detail to make them really fun to read and easy to visualize. Overall, really great job with this project!


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